I play video games a lot. At the moment, I mainly use my PS4, but I also own a few other consoles.

Unfortunately I'm broke - I don't have access to PS Online or a decent PC, so please don't ask me about it.

I own a PS3, a PS4, a Nintendo 64, a Wii and an N3DS.

I remember watching my dad play Sacred 2 and The Legend of Zelda - Majora's Mask and Ocarina of Time.

For years I was too scared to play Majora's Mask myself because of the first mask with the dekus or whatever they're called. Even today, I don't think I ever finished the game. Writing about it now actually makes me want to give it another go.

My absolute favourite series is the Fallout series. Especially Fallout 4. I bought a PS4 primarily to play this game. Within the first two months I had this game, I had a month's worth of playtime. And I still play it every now and then.

I love roleplaying in online forums. I've never tried Dungeons & Dragons and don't intend to. Besides, a real-life roleplay in the D&D style sounds rather boring. And real-life is my favorite genre for role-playing games, along with post-apocalyptic themes.

I wrote my first roleplay on a platform called Howrse. It's actually about breeding digital horses. Funnily enough, I don't remember ever really liking horses. At least not any more than other animals. Anyway, you could create your own small forum on the site, and lots of people wrote roleplays there back then. I played Warrior Cats and how fitting horse farm.

Later, I switched from Howrse to Facebook to write roleplays. They were also Warrior Cats plays. And that brings us to the first character whose photo I actually still have. The first character I truly loved above all else. You can find out more about him in the next tab.

After that, I hardly wrote any for a long time. When I started again, I got involved in a post-apocalyptic RP. This took place on WhatsApp. That's when I created my character Cloud. Cloud was a really nice character in a totally messed-up world. He met a woman named Violet. The two of them were really cute together. Unfortunately, that one didn't last long. But Cloud stuck in my memory.

Then came the Discord roleplaying era. I created several myself and had a loyal community that frequently participated. Unfortunately, I also made many mistakes during that time and my mental health wasn't at its best. As a result, my roleplays often only lasted a few months and frequently ended in conflict.

I remember how a friend from a roleplay sent me a small package of masks during the Corona pandemic, when I didn't have the money to buy any myself. Or the time when someone literally saved my life.

After several traumatic events, I stopped roleplaying for a long time. I occasionally considered starting my hobby again, but since I still wasn't/am not mentally ready, so I'm leaving it for now.

Even though roleplaying is really more of a hobby, I was unhealthily immersed in them. I became too invested in the characters, projecting my own mental problems onto my characters; my whole life was connected to it. Some things from back then have become deeply ingrained in my life, like tattoos, names, and the like. Comprehending that time is difficult for me now, as my memories, especially between 2018 and 2022, consist only of major events and the approximate year. But nowadays I can look back on it with a touch of nostalgia.

Rat (later Ratfur, and then Ratstar - I'll just call him Rat) was a stray cat whose mate had died during the birth of their two kittens. Since the city was too dangerous for him to care for two kittens alone, and he had heard rumors of Clans in the forests, he decided to seek them out.

However, the two kitten were killed by a fox on their journey. Since Rat was already too far from home, he continued on his way to the clan.

When he arrived at IceClan, he joined them. This is where the real roleplay began. It took a while for the other clan cats to trust him. But then he even found a new love. And at some point, there were internal conflicts within the players, which is why I suddenly was elected as the leader.

Therefore, Rat became leader. Due to personal reasons, I unfortunately had to stop roleplaying. As a result, Rat gave up his nine lives to ask StarClan to provide for his clan and give them a better future. Sadly, I don't know what happened to the clan after that.

But I will never forget the IceClan.

The School-Roleplays

School and student roleplays were my favorite genre. Of course, all characters were at least 18 years old. Back then, I had a few important characters whose profiles I've kept to this day. There were many other characters, but these three are the ones that have stuck with me the most.

Daniel "Demon" Lakston
aka Lil Peep

Collin McAnders
aka Andy Biersack

Justin Trembley
aka NF (Rapper)

Fellow [something]

Unfortunately, I don't remember the original name. It was a roleplay where vampires and werewolves lived together relatively peacefully in a small town. Hunters were added later. There was even a whole story we were planning to write.

Jason Cillian Creek
aka Daniel Brown
(Vampir)

Justin Trembley
aka NF (Rapper)
(Vampir)

Ruvim Stacker
aka Luke Reyvn
(Werwolf)

Nevio-Valentin Loripo
aka Simon Kotyk
(Jäger)

ChaosTown

This roleplay has also stuck in my mind. In this case, it was about a virus that made some people mentally ill. They became brutal and unpredictable. The people who had it were locked in a walled city. One of my books is based on this.

Cloud
aka Anton Lisin

Lion v1
aka Jake Hold

Lion v2
aka Aleksandr Kuznetsov

Richter
name unknown

As a roleplayer, and usually an administrator, immersion has always been important to me. Therefore, I've created many banners, collages, flyers, and similar things. Hell, I even once prepared a school test where players watched a short video about racism and then had to take a quiz.

Crazy times, really.

Anyway, I don't have many of the old pictures left on my computer. But I'd still like to present the few I did find. Time to reminisce and have a good laugh.

Some of them contain German text, since I roleplayed in German.

It all started on Howrse, just like my roleplay days. I somehow stumbled across that website back then. I don't even remember exactly how. Anyway, this game was the first one where I started collecting virtual animals. Breeding horses and seeing their beautiful coats was really great.

My first profile, as far as I remember, was called Goldene Hufe ('Golden Hooves').

Not much remains of this profile. Only the affix (a kind of title for the horses) still exists. There are two remaining horses on Howrse with this affix. I still own one of them. It was born on July 22, 2011.

Through some coincidence, I also came across the Chicken Smoothie website in 2012.

You can adopt pets there, but they grow up independently. Even today, in 2025, I still have some of the very old pets.

It's quite astonishing how I've managed to keep a few pets all these years.

Between 2014 and 2018 I collected fewer pets, then again from the end of 2019 to the end of 2020, and since mid-2025 I have been playing the game very frequently again.

In December of 2023, I came across a website called Pokéfarm.

I loved the site immediately and have been a regular visitor ever since. I did lose interest for a few months at one point. Even now, while creating Darkmoderiot, I'm less active. Simply because my website is really time-consuming and I don't want to stare at a screen for too long.

Nevertheless, I've already met some cool people on Pokéfarm, and somehow it feels a bit like the old Howrse days. The difference is that I can now speak, write, and read English very well, and therefore meet more people.

In October 2025, I returned to a game called Ovipets.

I knew the game from 12-13 years ago, when you could play it via Facebook. Since I've been back at Pokéfarm, I've occasionally thought about that one game with all the cool animals you could breed and colour.

No wonder, given the similar logo design.

I honestly couldn't remember what it was called. So I asked ChatGPT. It gave me a few websites, and Ovipets was one of them. As soon as I saw the name, it was like a lightbulb went off.

I immediately registered again. It took about two to three weeks to get used to the site's concept again, and now, at the end of November 2025, I have a plan again for what I want to do on Ovipets.

Since the game focuses particularly on colors and inheritance, you (or at least I) can even learn something from it!

Does this read like an advertisement? Hahaha.

My first experiences with coding were on Howrse. You could easily customize your profile by making your text bold, italic, or underlined.

You could center it, align it left or right. The standard stuff. But you could also edit the entire text directly as HTML. Of course, back then I had absolutely no idea about any of that. But I do remember my dad making the text blink. That was pure magic to me.

Later, I learned about BBCode on Chicken Smoothie.

Basically, it's just editing text or changing text alignment. Plus a little bit about inserting links and images into text. In retrospect, really simple stuff. For a long, long time, that was all I knew how to do.

But I didn't really need more. It was enough for me, and on the platforms I used, nothing more was possible anyway.

When I came to Pokéfarm, I used BBCode too. But the beautiful profiles of others piqued my curiosity. I experimented more with BBCode. There was a bit more room to play around with it there, but somehow my attempts still didn't look like those of many other users.

I finally tried CSS. But not with <style> like used with HTML, but [style]. I still wasn't as good as many others, but I learned quickly.

Someone mentioned Webkit at some point, and to be honest, I still only have a vague idea of what it is.

Once my Pokéfarm profile was perfectly set up, I somehow missed coding. In a strange way, it's almost therapeutic.

After a week or two, I had an idea. On a platform I hadn't mentioned before, called JanitorAI, you could edit your profile using HTML and CSS.

So it was finally time for me to start learning HTML. I already had a decent grasp of CSS and BBCode by that point. Surprisingly, Pokéfarm's mix of BBCode and CSS was basically the same as HTML and CSS, just with different characters. But HTML also offers more possibilities. Setting up my JanitorAI profile was easy and didn't take that long at all.

And so I was back at the beginning. I wanted to write code, to create something from scratch. So I thought about it. I searched the internet and found Neocities. That's the site where my website is hosted. As you can see from the URL.

To be fair, ChatGPT sometimes helps me with that. Especially when it comes to JavaScript or really complicated code. I also use W3Schools.

After a week of working on the website, I could already do a lot on my own. Maybe one day I'll even understand JavaScript too. I remember someone once saying that you don't have to know everything when coding, just where to find it. And that says it all.

And two weeks later, it starts with JSON. Just a simple code, of course. I have no idea what else awaits me.